


The Truth II: And Nothing But...

by Viridian5



Series: The Truth [2]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-05-19
Updated: 1998-05-19
Packaged: 2017-10-02 09:17:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you can't trust the people you thought were your friends, you can only start turning to your enemies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truth II: And Nothing But...

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for "Deep Throat," "Gethsemane," "Kitsunegari," and "Folie a Deux."
> 
> Thanks to Te for beta reading and enthusiastic encouragement on this one as well as the first "Truth."

Krycek asked himself why he couldn't have arrived fifteen minutes earlier as he tried to swing Mulder's dead weight back up on his left shoulder and still keep his gun hand free. Then Mulder would be drug-free and moving on his own instead of being carried. At least Krycek had gotten Mulder out before the doctors got a chance to play with his memories again.

Krycek missed his left arm constantly but especially now with Mulder sliding out of the fireman's carry position Krycek had him in. The urge to touch the firm rump that occasionally brushed against the side of his head had nothing to do with it. Trying to keep his concentration off the body rubbing against his took up too much of his attention.

"You are so damned heavy," Krycek muttered.

"But I'm getting... lighter all the time," Mulder said from behind him. Mulder had passed from groggy to high during their trip. It might be the blood rushing to his head.

Krycek wondered what kind of view Mulder had back there and quickly banished that thought. A man started to fire at them from a nearby doorway, and Krycek nailed him in two shots, one more than usual but he had Mulder encumbering him.

"Krycek, are you killing people again?"

"Just a few, Mulder."

"Okay. The world is spinning."

"If you puke on me, I'll kill you."

"Okay."

Krycek only had to kill four more people before he reached his car. Security had obviously gone to hell since he worked here. He draped Mulder over the passenger seat then got in on the other side to drive. Krycek floored the accelerator and roared away before the group chasing them could catch up.

Krycek glanced over at his passenger, who looked so young and sweet in his doped-up sleep. He fought down the urge to take advantage and headed for one of the more comfortable hideouts he used. He'd promised Mulder the truth; he hoped Mulder survived it.

******************************************************

//What a horrible nightmare.// Mulder woke up with a pounding headache in an unfamiliar bed. //Hospital?// No, not when the bed felt so soft and gave off the scent of ordinary laundry detergent, and the room smelled of fresh air with no metal or sanitizer tang. The lamplight didn't have that harsh, institutional brightness. Besides, he still wore most of his suit. Only the jacket and tie had disappeared.

Someone sat on the edge of the bed nearby. Prepared to see Scully, Mulder gaped when he saw Krycek watching him with a surprisingly gentle look on his face. It all came crashing back. It hadn't been a dream. Mulder groaned.

"It looks like the drugs wore off. What do you remember?"

Mulder wanted to say, Everything, but he honestly didn't know if he could say that. "They were going to rape my mind and steal my memories. You got me out and promised me the truth."

"Are you sure you want it?" Krycek sounded annoyingly coy.

//I'm not sure of anything anymore. I think it'll be _bad_...// "Give me the truth."

Krycek shrugged. Mulder realized that he had taken off the prosthesis. "It started when you were about 10 years old."

"What?!"

"Let me talk. You were a prodigy with talents the Consortium could use. I heard some rumors that the Project helped make you what you are, but I haven't found any evidence. The Consortium wanted to make sure that you followed the right path. They started to do sessions with you to make you into the kind of operative they wanted. Do you remember your childhood epileptic fits?"

"Yeah, they stopped in my late teens. I lied about my medical history on the FBI entrance papers and exams." Mulder looked stricken. "I didn't have epilepsy?"

"The lie gave them the opportunities they needed to mold you into what they wanted. All those doctor visits."

Mulder felt his stomach roll. To Mulder's surprise, Krycek gently put his hand over Mulder's. //Imagine my further surprise that I'm not jerking my hand away.//

"But then they took your sister as a hostage for your father's good behavior and you snapped. Withdrew completely. They saw their plans going down in flames."

"Aliens didn't take my sister; the Consortium did?"

"And implanted those memories of aliens to make sure that you delved into the X-Files. Aliens exist, but they had nothing to do with your sister's abduction. That woman you met in the diner _was_ your sister. I can't imagine the kind of lies that black-lunged bastard must have told her over the years.

"They made you what you are. Discouraged you from forming attachments and friends so a social life wouldn't distract you from work. Gave you a guilt complex and an obsessive nature to make you work all the harder."

"Why?"

"They needed a bloodhound to sniff out the aliens for them. Our world is Grand Central Station for alien races. The Consortium needed your talents to find them, but they couldn't let you have the evidence because they couldn't break you of your unfortunate tendency to want to shout the truth from the rooftops so the whole world will hear.

"Scully and Skinner were in on it."

"Scully? But the cancer--"

"All very cleverly done. Agent Scully is an actor who can put DeNiro to shame in preparing for a part. She went on a very strict diet to lose the weight, used makeup to give her that wan look, used a magician's trick for the old bleeding nostril, and changed her voice to suggest a tumor growing inside her head. I almost admire her skills. She believes that she's deceiving you for the good of the world."

Mulder remembered being suspicious of Scully and Skinner's recent behavior, of the way they seemed to instantly ally against him at times, like on the Linda Bowman case and the recent giant bug case when they both decided that he should be put in an institution. Mulder fled that thought. "Is she?"

"The New World Order, the Future, is the old world made more dictatorial by modern technology. They intend to use the very real threat of the alien war to take control and keep it.

"_You_ work for the conspiracy, Mulder. Everyone does.

"I don't know how many times they wiped your mind to stop you from seeing the truth, but from your increasing instability over the last few months, I would guess you're breaking through more and more often, with the resulting mind wipes following."

"You're insane! Why the hell should I trust you?"

"You're going to start remembering things again, Mulder. Not everything, because of the brain damage all the mind wipes caused, but a lot of it. You don't have to trust me now; just wait until your own memories come back."

//Brain damage?// "I'll do that." Mulder looked down to hide the glitter in his eyes. "So what's your angle? Why get me out?"

"They tried to erase me. They can all go to hell. As for the other reason, can't you guess?"

Mulder's head spun along with his world. "No. I don't know anything anymore."

Krycek moved closer and gave him a very intense look. "I couldn't stand to see them hurt you anymore."

The way Krycek looked at Mulder made him feel so strange. Then Krycek moved in slowly, giving Mulder a chance to pull back or turn away. He didn't.

The kiss surprised Mulder with its gentleness even as Krycek's weight against him set him on fire. He opened his lips and let Krycek's tongue explore his mouth. //It's been so long... This isn't me. This isn't who I am. I don't want this; I don't do this...// But it all felt so good. //How do I know who I am or what I want? They _made_ me.//

For a second time in a single day Mulder felt tears run down his cheeks. //Dammit, I have no control at all.//

Krycek kissed one tear track and pulled back. "It's okay, Mulder, you're just coming off some very powerful drugs. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"I don't believe that."

"This doesn't have to be the end for you. You can take your search private or just disappear somewhere."

"Krycek, I need to be alone for awhile so I can have time to process all this."

"Understandable." Krycek stood up. "I'll be sleeping in the next room if you need anything." Krycek left without another word.

Mulder stared at the wall. //Could it be true? It all fits so many of my suspicions. Of course his story fits. Krycek is a professional. But so many things make sense now, and I want things to make sense. My whole life has consisted of trying to make sense of the senseless. Unless that was a lie too.//

Mulder saw a long slide into madness beckoning. He'd always considered himself to be the sum of his memories. If he couldn't trust those, who was he? //Samantha's abduction by aliens shaped the last six years of my life, permeated my every waking moment. If that never happened then Kritschgau was right, and I've been a deluded idiot.//

Worse than that, Mulder felt the memories starting to come like the pressure of a flood against a dam. A few isolated ones slipped over. Mulder suddenly remembered an airfield at night with a giant triangular ship hovering over him. The lights, the beauty, beckoned him and filled him with awe. They stole that from him.

Familiarity struck him as he recalled the last time this happened. He'd thought he could lose the pressure by sleeping. He'd screamed so loudly even _his_ neighbors complained, and he didn't have any living directly around his apartment. //Gee, wonder how that happened, huh?

//Everyone lied to me. Everyone. I can't trust Skinner. Can't trust _Scully_. What's left?//

He couldn't be alone with this. He didn't want to be alone ever again.

Mulder got out of bed and walked into the darkness of the next room feeling like a child racing to his parents after a nightmare. Not that Mulder's parents ever let him get away with that; they always told him to stop being a crybaby and go back to bed.

After Samantha's abduc-- disappearance, he would wake up in the middle of the night convinced that everyone else had vanished too, leaving him alone in the world. He would quietly go to his parents' room, later his mother's room after the divorce, and check on them. Never to wake them up, he knew he would get whipped for that, just to watch them sleep and assure himself that they were still there.

Mulder knelt next to the couch where he heard Krycek sleeping and lightly touched his former partner's shoulder. //Good. He's still here.// As Mulder's eyes adjusted to the darkness he could make out the peaceful expression on Krycek's face. //How can you sleep the peace of the just after what you've done?// But that wasn't why he was here.

Mulder leaned over and started to kiss him.

******************************************************

Krycek slowly rose out of the dark still waters of sleep to the feel of soft lips thoroughly tending to his own, which he parted for his lover. The tongue that entered his mouth felt like raw silk. //This is so good. Wait a minute...// He smelled Mulder's unique scent with an undertone of the nose-searing tang of a hospital. Mulder?

Much as he didn't want to, Krycek gently pushed Mulder away. He kept his hand on the side of Mulder's face though and relished the heat of the skin and the solidity of the fine bones underneath. He wasn't a saint, after all. "I thought you wanted to be alone to think."

Mulder's eyes seemed to shimmer in the dimness. "I did that. I scared the hell out of myself. I was wondering if your offer is still open?"

//For always and forever, Mulder.// "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want to. Because I've wanted to ever since I first saw you; I know that now. Because I'm lonely. Because I'll shake myself to pieces if I don't."

Mulder scared him a little right now. "What about tomorrow?"

"It's starting to come back to me. I don't know if I'll be the same person when I wake up tomorrow. Why worry?"

Now Mulder really scared him. But if offering comfort would help, Krycek intended to do it. For purely altruistic reasons, of course. "Come up here then."

Mulder climbed on top of Krycek and found his mouth by trial and error, kissing everything that crossed his path. Neck, chin, nose, eyelids, and finally lips. Once Mulder found Krycek's lips he settled in for a siege and rippled and rubbed his entire body down the length of Krycek's. //Oh, God, who's seducing who here?// Krycek hissed as their erections brushed against one another through layers of cloth.

When Krycek stroked Mulder's soft hair, Mulder's head pushed against his hand like a cat's would. Mulder briefly stopped what he was doing to look Krycek in the eye and ask, "Do you like this?" He punctuated his question with a slow roll of his hips against Krycek's that almost made the younger man scream.

"Oh, oh, yes." //Who the hell taught you this? This can't be Mulder, this isn't any Mulder I've ever seen, but this one can definitely stick around if he wants to, oh, yes.//

Mulder slowly slid, snake-like, down the length of Krycek's body, nibbling and licking at Krycek's chest through the thin T-shirt. Mulder pulled down Krycek's pants and boxers with a startling speed and efficiency. Krycek jerked as hot breath and finally a tongue flick touched the tip of his cock. When Mulder said something directly against the throbbing flesh the vibrations drove Krycek insane.

"Wh--what?" Krycek managed to ask.

When Mulder looked up his eyes glittered in an almost demonic fashion. "I said, 'You're not going anywhere, right?'"

//Either he's being playful, or he's gone completely nuts.// "I can assure you that I'm not leaving, especially not now," Krycek gasped.

"Good," Mulder said as he started to lavish long, slow strokes of his tongue down the shaft. Krycek whimpered then groaned as Mulder took his former partner's cock deep into his throat and started to suck and nip at it. By the time he started to stroke Krycek's balls as well, Krycek was no longer capable of coherent thought. At best he managed not to thrust too hard into that lush mouth as he came with a scream.

Mulder continued to suckle for a while longer then climbed up to lie beside Krycek, who immediately set himself to kissing Mulder's swollen lips. "That was... so good. Let me--" Krycek tried but still couldn't manage to speak, so he rolled Mulder onto his back and started to stroke him. He wanted to know exactly what Mulder felt like. Mulder stretched and all but purred under his touch.

//When I think of all the times that I wanted to touch you, to see you like this-- I can't believe that you're here now.// Krycek didn't know how long this would last. Like a kid at an amusement park for the day, he wanted to do so many things before he had to leave that he didn't know where to start.

Mulder had so considerately undone and pulled down his own pants so Krycek decided he'd get right to the point. He sucked on his fingers then lovingly stroked Mulder's hard cock, occasionally applying a gentle scrape of his nails, and smiled at the resulting whimpers. His fingers slick with his own saliva and Mulder's pre- cum, Krycek traced that firm ass as he'd wanted to do for so long. He slowly trailed down the crack and pushed up into the tight ring of muscle that quickly parted for him, inviting his fingers in. As Mulder gasped, Krycek took his cock in his mouth and started to suck, thrusting with his fingers at the same time.

Mulder sobbed, and his fingers clutched helplessly at Krycek's head, making him very glad he kept his hair so short or Mulder would be ripping it out right now. Mulder bucked roughly, apparently beyond self-control, so Krycek used his own weight to better calm and direct his former partner's movements. Finally Mulder exploded into him with a sharp cry then subsided, panting.

This time Krycek slid up to be directly beside Mulder and felt the uncharacteristic urge to cuddle. //You've got it bad, Alex my lad.// "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Mulder looked dazed but satiated.

"I'm not going anywhere, Mulder, unless you want to go with me."

Mulder smiled.

### End


End file.
